Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Tuesday 5: In Which I Explain Last Week's Boycott List

I actually had to verify that it is Tuesday. Today has been a Second Monday, for sure. 

1. I got a lot of questions last week about why we boycott Pizza Hut, Heinz Ketchup, and Amarillo, Texas. In the interest of your rabid curiosity, Fellow Adventurers, here are the reasons: 1. Pizza Hut- In essence, this is one of those horrible customer service experiences that was left unrectified, even after complaining up the ladder. So not very interesting. We boycotted Papa John's before that, but have a strict one-pizza-joint-on-the-boycott-list rule, so Papa John's got a second chance and have managed to stay in our good graces. The rest of our boycotts are much more entertaining.

2. Heinz Ketchup- Some of you may have noted that a handful of other Fellow Adventurers also commented on my facebook link that they, too, boycott Heinz. All those Fellow Adventurers also had spouses serving in Iraq during one of The International Man of Intrigue’s long tours. At that time, John Kerry was running for president and made a very disparaging comment about the troops in Iraq and their intelligence level. It cut most of us to the quick, and since his wife, Theresa Heinz Kerry is heir to the ketchup fortune, and also gave a lot of personal money toward his campaign, The Intrigues, and many families we knew at the time, started boycotting Heinz and never stopped. 

3. Amarillo, Texas- The International Man of Intrigue was pulled over for speeding in Amarillo during college. When he asked to see the radar, the cop wouldn’t let him and instead gave The International Man of Intrigue a ticket for not wearing his seat belt. The International Man of Intrigue had taken it off to get his wallet. So, he paid the ticket and we carried on tolerating Amarillo. Fast forward a decade. The International Man of Intrigue was in his John Kerry deployment and I got a super official looking registered letter from The City of Amarillo. It contained a warning that there was about to be a warrant issued for The International Man of Intrigue’s arrest unless he paid a ticket from about a decade ago. I frantically put out feelers to get The International Man of Intrigue to call me—not easy in those days. The International Man of Intrigue ended up placing a phone call from Iraq to The City of Amarillo. Basically, they had done a shitty job of keeping track of their outstanding tickets and had hired a third party to review and collect and close them out. His had never been marked as paid. He ended up speaking to a judge who told him unless he produced proof that he’d mailed a money order over a decade ago to take care of his ticket, the warrant would be issued. Oh, and thanks for your service. So we did what reasonable people do. We paid the ticket again and enacted a lifetime boycott against the city. And thus ends our current boycott list.

4. I just started reading “Andy Warhol Was a Hoarder: Inside the Minds of History’s Great Personalities” by Claudia Kalb. If you’re interested in psychology, it’s a quick, interesting little read. It’s really armchair psychology, but it’s fun to look inside the minds of famous people. 


5. The Little Explorers have head colds and The International Man of Intrigue wasn’t home for bedtime tonight, so it was a lot like Whack-A-Mole. They kept popping out of bed as quickly as I could tuck them back in, one after another. It’s now an hour and a half later, and I have high hopes bedtime is finally finished. On that note, I’m going to call it a night. Until next week, Fellow Adventurers.

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