Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Tuesday 5: Two and Four Legged Houseguests

1. Laura Ingalls Wilder broke my sunglasses this weekend. They’re prescription, so that’s awesome. It turns out that our not entirely awesome insurance only pays for an eye exam every two years, and my last one was a year and a half ago. That leaves me with three equally crappy options. 1. Pay out of pocket for an eye exam at $150. 2. Pay about the same amount and just get new frames for my existing sunglasses, but keep the old lenses. 3. When the earpiece completely breaks off, use super glue and duct tape and look like a jackass. Thoughts? Opinions? Advice?

2. Speaking of jackass, I really do try not to judge other parents. Want to let your child suck a pacifier until they’re four? Fine. It’s your dental bill. Want to wait to potty train until you’re kid is about to start kindergarten? You’re the one changing poopy diapers, not me. I did feel extra judgy at my friendly neighborhood craft store this weekend. There was a little girl there who was in her twos. She was walking around the store barefoot. The bottoms of her feet were filthy from walking around in the store. Knowing this store, there was also plenty of risk that there could have been something on the floor that would have hurt her baby feet. I personally had stepped on a broken part of an artificial flower arrangement just minutes before. Now, Fellow Adventurers, maybe you’re thinking “But what if her mom got to the store only to realize she didn’t have shoes with her?” Wrong question. She was a toddler. Correct question, “Why not just put her in a cart and push her around the store?” I’m still a bit grossed out.

3. Arthur Dent has this old Happy Meal toy that he loves. It’s some sort of a robot-like bug. It’s the size of a typical Happy Meal toy and is turquoise and grey. He named it “Stabby.” Despite the fact that Stabby looks very little like a real bug, he manages to startle me and make me jump out of my skin every time I see him out of the corner of my eye. I could just throw him away, but I'm sort of fond of Stabby at this point.

4. We had houseguests this weekend. Arthur Dent’s preschool class pet Rainbow the Tortoise came home with us. He had been so excited all week that he kept telling us all about her. He would correct us anytime anyone called her a turtle, “No, she’s a TORTOISE!” I finally asked Arthur Dent what a tortoise was. His reply, “It’s a turtle.” According to Arthur Dent, “She doesn’t like it to be loud. She eats salad, but with no ranch dressing.” I’d like to go on record with my massive thanks to Arthur Dent’s preschool teacher for telling the kids tortoises don’t like loud noises. Can I buy you a beer?


5. Oh, Fellow Adventurers, you’re quick. I did say “houseguests” and then only told you about Rainbow. Friday night, Amelia Earhart’s Godparents messaged us and asked if they could come the next day and stay the night! We were thrilled. Her Godparents are our most long time couple friends. We only got to hang out with them for about 24 hours, but it was enough time to drink some adult beverages and laugh until we cried. Perfect way to spend part of a weekend.

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