Tuesday 5: Not Metaphorically Speaking

1. I may have had a minor moving induced meltdown this afternoon. The movers came to walk through and give us an estimate on the amount of stuff we own. When you move with the military, you’re given a certain amount of weight. The movers estimated we’re 5,500 pounds over our allowed weight. After I finished hyperventilating and ate some dinner and took a 20 minute nap I realized a few things. Number one is that we are probably slightly overweight, but not by 5,500 pounds. The second is that it’s just stuff. We don’t need it to be happy. Watch this space for a good deal on buying a piece of The Intrigue Family’s actual belongings- the ones that the Smithsonian doesn’t want, that is.

2. There’s a new Selena Gomez song that I’m finding very problematic. It’s called “Hands to Myself,” and I’m sure it’s problematic in a lot of ways, but there’s one line that really bothers me. The phrase “metaphorical gin and juice” makes me cringe. If you have to explain that you’re using a metaphor, is it still a metaphor? The whole point of metaphor in poetry or literature or song seems to disintegrate when one has to point out that one is using a metaphor as a literary or lyrical device. Rant over.

3. Speaking of music, I’m still really mad that Sarah McLachlan totally ruined that song “Arms of an Angel.” I used to really enjoy it, but now I just see crying puppies and kittens. Thanks a lot.

4. Being the mother of a toddler is a great time. Today, Laura Ingalls Wilder didn’t nap. There was too much going on at our house with people in and out as we prep for a move. She was cheerful despite all that, until she accidentally got a 20 minute nap in the car when we went to pick up the big girls from school. I woke her up when we got home. She proceeded to throw herself on the floor and scream for the next 20 minutes. It was so awesome. 

5. I asked The International Man of Intrigue what else I should write about tonight. He answered, “Spies.” I’m sure it’s because we’ve been marathoning “The Americans” on Amazon Prime lately. I asked what I should say about spies, and he said, “I don’t know. Spies.” So, number five this week is Just Spies. See you next week.