Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Tuesday 5; Chris Farley and ER

1. I’m confused as to what day it is. The International Man of Intrigue is off work this week, which makes every day seem like Saturday. He had a lot of leave (leave=vacation days in military speak) that was use or lose, so we made it kind of a staycation. Actually, it really hasn’t been a staycation. Over the weekend we painted the kitchen and living room. We’ve taken The International Man of Intrigue’s Jeep to get fixed from where he got rear ended last month. We have a dentist appointment, back to school nights, and more and more. 

2. Laura Ingalls Wilder has a new hobby. It’s screaming. She has several eardrum shattering variations. The first is one the kind that makes sound effects technicians green with envy. It’s the perfect horror film scream, starting out high and then suddenly jumping an octave to blood-curdling. I thought that one was going to drive me crazy until she invented one today that may drive me to drink. It’s somewhere in the sound range of nails on a chalkboard with a volume about equal to a rock concert. It’s a full on pterodactyl screech, done at top volume and pausing only for breath. Oh, how I long for the days when she just yelled “poop” everywhere we went. I have a headache.

3. Today, the to-do list included taxes. Yes, in August. We had to file an extension since we didn’t have Laura Ingalls Wilder’s social security number in time to file by April 15. Taxes are one of the few things in life that really make me feel not smart. I don’t understand taxes. Once I tried to use Turbo Tax, but I got so frustrated because I didn’t understand half the things they were asking me to input that I gave up. It doesn’t help that every year, we have some “unusual” thing, like deployment, buying or selling a house, adoption, or who knows what. No matter how hard I try to collect anything that seems pertinent, when I take my pile of taxes to the accountant, we’re missing something. Getting taxes done not only makes me feel not smart, it makes me feel like maybe I’m only masquerading as an adult. I have no idea of the depreciation schedule of a house we bought a decade ago, and absolutely no clue what capital gains really means if you can lose money but still have it. Since that saying about death and taxes seems to be true, I guess I have a lifetime to figure it out, or to check my ego once a year.

4. As I mentioned before, we’ve been watching X-Files. I get a major kick out of recognizing actors playing bit parts before they were famous. Jack Black got killed off in one episode. We were watching the other night, and the actor and roll were so foreshadowing it was creepy. Remember the guy who played Dr. Romano on ER? He was the main character in Season 4, Episode 12 of the X-Files. As Dr. Romano, he played an ER doctor who lost his arm in an accident with a medivac helicopter, and was later killed by the same, which is when, coincidentally, I stopped watching the show, because, for me, that helicopter was like a giant shark, and Dr. Romano was wearing skis. Back to the X-Files episode, which aired less than a year before Dr. Romano joined ER. The same actor played Leonard Betts, an EMT who was beheaded in an ambulance accident. (Insert X-Files theme here) Creepy, huh?

5. I’ve started a diet and exercise program that I’m pretty committed to. I’ve lost some weight and kept to a daily workout routine for almost two weeks now. I feel like I’ve done pretty well at eating the right things to keep me from being hungry and cranky, but a friend reminded me of this little Chris Farley gem, (Thanks, Emily!) and I realized something: 

LAY OFF ME. I’M STARVING. Happy Tuesday, Fellow Adventurers.

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