Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Tuesday 5: Life in the Sunshine State

1. The Intrigue Family currently resides in Florida. Some people really, really love it here. While we understand the appeal, it is not on our list of places to make our forever home. For one thing, it is approximately the temperature of the sun plus or minus 11 degrees all summer long. That temperature coupled with the kind of humidity an actual humidifier expels makes for mind numbingly miserable weather from about April to October. Here are a few other Florida summer novelties:

2. We all know that Floridians live in flip flops. Florida also has a very unique summer dress code. Again, summer is from about April to October here. Summer in Florida means bathing suits under clothes at all times. Going to the grocery store? Put on a swimsuit and clothes over the top. The mall? Swimsuit with clothes over them? Any amusement park? Clothes and swimsuits. Church? Swimsuit straps poking out from under modest clothes. The assumption is that everyone has either just stepped out of the pool or could decide to go swimming at any minute.

3. Our neighborhood is home to lots of Sandhill Cranes. They’re a protected species. I’m pretty sure they’re also the reason the phrase “bird brain” was coined. They’re big birds with tiny heads and blank stares. I’m pretty sure they landed on the protected list because they’re so dumb they need protection just to survive. They crane their necks in and out while they stroll through the neighborhood. They also have recently taken a liking to our driveway. Lately, whenever I come home from the store and have the garage door open while I unload the groceries from the back of the mini van, so as not to crush the lift gate with the garage door. (See, I don’t always smash the mini van with the garage door!) those cranes come out of nowhere and try to invite themselves in the garage. No amount of shooing and screaming seems to bother them. Yesterday, we had friends over to visit and when they left to go to their car, there were the Sandhill Cranes, wandering over from the driveway and blocking them in the sidewalk. I had to let our friends back in the house so they could exit the garage and get in their car, and while they were getting in, here came the cranes, trying to invite themselves in! It’s really exasperating, and with the dead stares, frankly, a little creepy.

4. Today, the Little Explorers and I, along with our neighbors, headed to the Clearwater Aquarium, home of Hope and Winter, the dolphins from the movie Dolphin Tale and Dolphin Tale two. Since military and their guests get free admission, both moms and all seven kids got in gratis. It was awesome. We splurged and spent under ten bucks in the McDonald’s drive thru on the way home to get everyone ice cream. A cripplingly hot outing but lots of fun.

5. On the way home, driving over a causeway, surrounded on both sides by the Bay, “Margaritaville” by Jimmy Buffett came on the radio. A perfectly appropriate end to a Florida summer day. 

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