Did you ever wonder what it’s like celebrating Columbus Day in another country? Me either. I’m going to tell you a little story anyway.
The following is a (mostly) true conversation that The International Man of Intrigue had with his co-workers on the subject of Columbus Day. One co-worker is an American we’ll call Glenda the Good Witch. We do have a Wizard of Oz theme going on in this blog, and also Amelia Earhart and Gertrude Bell think she really is Glenda the Good Witch, just in hiding from the Wicked Witch. Why do they think this? I’m not sure. Maybe it’s because Glenda the Good Witch told them so. The other co-worker is Sri Lankan and perfectly dapper, with an impeccable British accent. We’ll call him Sri Lankan James Bond, because he is also ex-military and I’m pretty sure he likes his martinis shaken, not stirred.
Anyway, on Friday, The International Man of Intrigue, Glenda the Good Witch, and Sri Lankan James Bond had the following conversation:
Glenda The Good Witch: “We have Monday off work!”
Sri Lankan James Bond: “Why?”
International Man of Intrigue: “It’s an American Holiday.”
Sri Lankan James Bond: “What holiday?”
Glenda the Good Witch: “Columbus Day.”
Sri Lankan James Bond: “But Columbus didn’t discover America.”
Glenda the Good Witch: “Don’t tell anyone or we’ll have to go to work.”
Sri Lankan James Bond: “Understood.”
International Man of Intrigue: “I plan on observing Columbus Day by rowing out to a sparsely populated island in The Maldives and claiming it for God and Country.”
I should let it be known that The International Man of Intrigue did not, in fact, take over an island in The Maldives. Instead, he took time to sit back and enjoy a day of leisure. By leisure, I mean we cleaned out closets and went through the kids toys and got rid of things they don’t use any more. I’m not sure how Glenda the Good Witch spent her day. Probably hiding out from flying ninja monkeys.