Did you ever wonder what it’s like celebrating
Columbus Day in another country? Me either. I’m going to tell you a little
story anyway.
The following is a (mostly) true conversation that
The International Man of Intrigue had with his co-workers on the subject of
Columbus Day. One co-worker is an American we’ll call Glenda the Good Witch. We
do have a Wizard of Oz theme going on in this blog, and also Amelia Earhart and
Gertrude Bell think she really is Glenda the Good Witch, just in hiding from
the Wicked Witch. Why do they think this? I’m not sure. Maybe it’s because
Glenda the Good Witch told them so. The other co-worker is Sri Lankan and
perfectly dapper, with an impeccable British accent. We’ll call him Sri Lankan
James Bond, because he is also ex-military and I’m pretty sure he likes his
martinis shaken, not stirred.
Anyway, on Friday, The International Man of
Intrigue, Glenda the Good Witch, and Sri Lankan James Bond had the following
conversation:
Glenda The Good Witch: “We have Monday off work!”
Sri Lankan James Bond: “Why?”
International Man of Intrigue: “It’s an American
Holiday.”
Sri Lankan James Bond: “What holiday?”
Glenda the Good Witch: “Columbus Day.”
Sri Lankan James Bond: “But Columbus didn’t discover
America.”
Glenda the Good Witch: “Don’t tell anyone or we’ll
have to go to work.”
Sri Lankan James Bond: “Understood.”
International Man of Intrigue: “I plan on observing
Columbus Day by rowing out to a sparsely populated island in The Maldives and
claiming it for God and Country.”
I should let it be known that The International Man
of Intrigue did not, in fact, take over an island in The Maldives. Instead, he
took time to sit back and enjoy a day of leisure. By leisure, I mean we cleaned
out closets and went through the kids toys and got rid of things they don’t use
any more. I’m not sure how Glenda the Good Witch spent her day. Probably hiding
out from flying ninja monkeys.
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