Tuesday 5: Keeping the Little Explorers Alive Edition

1. I’m gunning for the parenting sweet spot, folks. I’m still far from having self sufficient kids, but last week, it was as if a beam of heavenly sunshine picked me to illuminate. Gertrude Bell has to read out loud for 20 minutes every day. Arthur Dent has to be read to for 20 minutes a day. Cue angels singing. I do not have to be a part of this! Gertrude Bell reads to Arthur Dent at night before bed and I just have to sign their papers! Finally, having a lot of kids relatively close together results in a win! (In case you’re wondering, this never worked with Amelia Earhart reading to Gertrude Bell because Amelia Earhart has been reading about 17 grade levels above her age since she finally figured out how to read.)

2. I’m exhausted. It used to be, when the International Man of Intrigue went to the field or TDY (That’s Temporary Duty for all you non-giant-governmental-organization folks.) I would do something like stay up late repainting a room or sewing new curtains. Now, I mostly go to bed early and try to keep the Little Explorers alive and fed. No one tells you when you have kids that the keeping alive part is really a lot of work. For example, Arthur Dent is determined to fall and crack his head open in the bathtub or shower. He even did fall a couple of times in Florida, yet the warning seems to come as new information every time. 

“Arthur Dent, no jumping in the tub.” 

“But, Mama, I wasn’t jumping. I was just hopping.” 

“Arthur Dent!”

“That was dancing.”
“No dancing either. Can you mostly just keep your feet still and on the bottom of the shower at all times?”

(Five minutes later…)

“ARTHUR DENT, DO NOT JUMP OUT OF THE BATHTUB. YOU ARE GOING TO CRACK YOUR HEAD OPEN AND HAVE TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL!”

“I’m sorry, Mama. Can I karate chop my way out?”

“NOOOOO!”

3. I took the kids to the pool this weekend and managed to get burnt to a crisp. I can’t even tell you the last time I got a sunburn. I’m a big believer in sunblock. I guess I should have had the Little Explorers sunscreen up before we left the house, but instead we did it poolside. Putting sunscreen on Little Explorers is about as easy as giving a cat a bath, and then add to it that the pool was mere feet away, and it was a workout. By the time it was done, I was too busy trying to make sure no one was drowning to realize that I had forgotten my own sunscreen. Two days later and I’m still red and a little uncomfortable.

4. This week, Hawaii is expecting visits from two tropical storms, as well as from President Obama. I bought so much food at Costco yesterday I could barely push my cart to the parking lot. I think The Intrigues will be ok.

5. One major thing I’ve learned about Hawaii is to pack drinks and snacks, or even lunch, every time you leave the house. In the last couple of weeks, I have had what should have been quick errands turn into multi-hour outings. Since Laura Ingalls Wilder is still at home all day and is my sidekick for all these shenanigans, we ended up eating out a few more times than I would have liked. I should clarify- one of those times eating lunch out was shoving money into a vending machine and feeding my child a well rounded meal of fritos and M&Ms. Now I keep a reusable water bottle with me and granola bars and almonds stashed in my purse. If I think there’s a chance that we’ll be out within an hour of meal time, I up our rations. Aloha, baby.